


Where the Love Light Gleams

by panchostokes (badwolfrun)



Series: Ficverse: Parker and Madison Stokes [10]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Fluff, Gen, christmas reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfrun/pseuds/panchostokes
Summary: A three part series, focusing on Christmas past, present and future at the Stokes household. References to Last Breath, another fic in the Parker & Madison Stokes verse.
Relationships: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes, Nick Stokes & Cassie McBride, Nick Stokes & Madison Stokes, Nick Stokes & Parker Stokes
Series: Ficverse: Parker and Madison Stokes [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1385533
Comments: 27
Kudos: 17





	1. Christmas Past

**Author's Note:**

> Man, this year has been something else, hasn't it? My muse (Nick Stokes) had returned to me more or less around this time last year, and I feel like I haven't stopped writing since! Parker and Madison were such a big part of my fic this year, and I feel like it's only right to spend a little more time with them as the year comes to a close. (Though don't fret, this is certainly not the last we'll see of them!)
> 
> Happy holidays, everyone! 💜💜💜

_"_ _I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me…”_

Nick’s voice carried through the kitchen, rising through the steam of the pots on the stove. There was a soft glow from the oven, from the ceiling lights, from the Christmas lights strewn around the island counter. The smell of gingerbread and cranberries and roasted meat swirled in the air with the music that he sang along to, as he prepared Christmas dinner for the Stokes family, though the day hadn’t arrived quite yet.

“Daddy.” 

Madison Stokes slammed her fists on each side of the cutting board, a determined shine in her eyes, her eyebrows knitted together. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” Nick asked in a calm tone, not having stopped his chopping for the sudden appearance of his daughter. 

“What do you want for Christmas?” 

Nick looked up at her through the rim of his glasses, a smile curled on his lips.

“Aw, honey, the only thing I want is to see your beautiful face.”

“That’s a load of bull, what do you want?” Madison asked sternly.

“Whoa, where’s this coming from?” Nick laughed, dumping the chopped vegetables on top of a crust for a pot pie. 

“Parker told me.”

“Told you what?”

“You’re workin’ on Christmas,” Madison stated with a flat voice. 

Nick paused, shut his eyes and rolled his tongue over his lips. He had been trying to think of ways to soften the blow, given how hard it was on Parker. 

_“How come? A-after everything that happened, the least they could do is let you spend Christmas with us!”_ Parker had protested when he told him the previous day, and also the final words he had spoken to his father since. 

“I figured, if I buy you what you _really, really_ wanted for Christmas, you might...might stay home, wif' us…” Madison muttered, her accent was getting thicker, her chin was wobbling. 

And Nick’s heart was melting. 

“Oh, Maddy,” Nick sighed softly. He put the knife down, rounded the counter to wrap his daughter in his arms. “I’m sorry, baby. I’ll try to be home as soon as I can--”

“Then why are you making dinner at two in the morning? I know this is for Christmas, you always make pot pie on Christmas. And I can smell the cookies, and the cranberries that you know I love--” 

“Shh, shh, shh. We don’t wanna wake your brother,” Nick whispered to her as her voice rose higher than any other sound in the kitchen. “I just...couldn’t sleep.” 

“Me neither.” 

Nick sighed, lowering his face into the top of Madison’s hair. It had been a few months since their ill-fated camping trip, and his dreams had still been plagued with vultures carrying and dropping him off of cliffs, and his children running from a giant with a gun in the forest.

He hoped that what was keeping Madison up was just excitement over the holidays, and not the same nightmares he feared she’d be plagued with. 

“You wanna help Daddy with all this food?” he asked softly. “I think the gingerbread men are gonna need a house to sleep in.” 

“Only if you keep singin’.” 

“Deal,” he hugged Madison tightly, planted a kiss on her forehead before she threw on an apron, rolled up her sleeves, and danced as Nick began to sing again.

* * *

“Do you think Daddy doesn’t like us anymore?” 

Parker looked up from his video game as Madison flung herself over the back of the armchair, stared out the window as cars passed by, waiting for one in particular that on some level, she knew wasn’t coming.

“Why would you think that, Mads?” 

“He _never_ works Christmas. Eve or day.” 

“He said it’s been busy at the lab. Said he hasn’t gotten all caught up since...you know…” Parker went back to his game, not willing to fall into a pit full of flashbacks. 

“Why couldn’t he had made someone else work instead? He’s the boss!” 

Parker remained silent.

“A-are we sure he...remembers...everything? Maybe he-he doesn’t remember the last couple Christmases? Maybe he didn’t remember to buy us anything? Didn’t know what we wanted? Didn’t remember if we were good or bad?” 

“What are you talking about? _Santa_ brings us presents,” Parker waved off. 

“Parker...Santa’s not...You-you know who Santa is, right?” 

“Yeah, big fat man that breaks into our house every year, but Dad says it’s okay ‘cause he brings us presents.” Parker half-smiles, remembering how Nick had found him dusting the chimney for fingerprints a few years ago, taking measurements of boot prints and photographing the “crime scene.” 

“And...Santa just _happens_ to know what we want?” 

“Well, yeah, cause we write him letters!”

“And he just happens to like the same exact cookies that Daddy likes?” 

“What are you saying, Mads?”

Madison spun around, slumped into the armchair and pounded her fists on the arm rests. 

“Santa’s not real, Parker!” 

“Uhm...yeah, he is,” Parker scoffed. 

“I saw the presents. In Daddy’s closet. ‘To Madison, Love Santa.’”

“What were you doing in Dad’s closet?”

“Not important, what _is_ important, is that Daddy is Santa Claus but this year...he’s not. There’s no Santa, no presents, no...Daddy…” her voice hiccupped into a wavering cry, and she buried her face in her hands.

“Mads...hey...c’mere,” Parker pat the space next to him and set down his video game. Before she even made it to the couch, he reeled her in and wrapped her in his arms. 

“I knew Santa wasn’t real.”

“Since when?” 

“I caught him one year when I waited up--”

“He told us not to do that!” Madison hissed, breaking away from Parker in astonishment.

“What can I say, you’re not the only brilliant detective in this house,” he winked. “I was hiding right over there, behind the armchair with his camera, waiting to get a picture of Santa when I saw it was Dad who was leaving presents under the tree. Damn near pissed my pants laughing when he squealed in surprise.”

“W-Why didn’t you tell me ‘bout this?” Madison huffed. 

“Mads, you’re nine years old--”

“Yeah, and I’m not a baby anymore, I can handle the truth! Why didn’t you tell me Daddy was Santa sooner?”

“What does it matter, Mads?”

“You already ruined Christmas by telling me he was working this year!”

“And...your point?”

“Yo-you always try to protect me from all these…terrible things, try to keep-keep my hopes up but...but you never tell me about the stuff that _really_ matters--like what happened when you found Daddy in the forest!”

“You think _that’s_ on par with something as small as not telling you who Santa is?”

“Yeah, I do! There’s...Santa…” Madison sighed, wiped her face with her hands, shaking with frustration. “I believed in Santa for _so long,_ just like I believed in Daddy, believed that he was...like a superhero, that nothing could ever hurt him a-and then...it, it did, and I stopped believin’...in him.”

“Okay, you might have the body of a nine year old, but this level of existentialism is far beyond your years…”

“What’s exit-enchal-ism?” 

“Never mind. Point is, Dad’s still a superhero, Mads. You wanna know why he’s working Christmas, really? So nobody else has to.”

“That’s stupid.” 

“That’s _kind,_ Madison. That’s Daddy’s superpower. Kindness.” 

“You said it yourself, he almost didn’t get to spend Christmas with us, though--”

“I-I know, I know, but that’s Dad. Trying to put others before himself--”

“He ain’t putting us before himself--” Madison protested, but Parker just pulled her close, hugged her to his chest.

“That’s because we have each other, Madison. Always will.” 

“And who does he have, then? Working alone at the lab?”

The doorbell rang, and a smile gleamed on Parker’s face.

“Us,” Parker replied, handing her a bag with clothing in it before getting up to open the door.

“What is this, and why are you opening the door? Daddy told us _never_ to open the door if he’s not home!”

“It’s Dad’s Christmas present,” Parker told her, before he opened the door and their Uncle Greg walked in, jingling his keys. 

“Hey, kiddos, ready for a sleigh ride?” 

* * *

_“I’ll be home for Christmas…”_ Nick continued to sing under his breath as he signed through another stack of paperwork. He was nearly caught up since his absence, though he was now covering for one of his shift supervisors who had gone on maternity leave. _“If only in my dreams…”_

He sighed, rubbed his sore eyes. This was a stupid idea, he should have just stayed home, more than enough people had offered to stay late or come in on their day off so that he could “take it easy,” but he found that work was the only thing that could distract him from the phantom pains in his body, from the flashbacks triggered every time he saw his own children’s faces, from the feeling that he was getting too old, _far_ too old for any of this; work, family, friends, _life._

Two hands slammed down onto his desk, on each side of the stack of papers that were in front of his face.

“Nick.” 

He looked up to see Cassie McBride through the rim of his glasses. 

“Cassie.”

“Why are you still here?”

“Could ask you the same.” 

“You have a family. _Kids._ You shouldn’t be here. Go home, be with them.” 

“You first.”

“ _I_ don’t have two children eagerly awaiting Santa Claus to deliver presents for them in the morning.”

“Well...one of them already knows the truth.” 

“Madison?” 

“No, Parker.” 

“Oh. Money was on Madison to find out who the real Santa is first.”

“Y’all _bet_ on my children?” 

“Not the point. Go home,” she reiterated, moving around the desk to push Nick in his chair towards the door, which made him laugh. 

“Cass, it-I can’t just leave!”

“Of course you can. We haven’t had a call all night, and as long as no more kids try callin’ in a B&E tonight, I think we can lock up and go home.”

She tipped the chair and Nick spilled out, but straightened up and the smile wiped from his face.

“Unless...you don’t...want to go home?”

“It’s not that,” Nick responded immediately. “I just needed...a bit of a distraction, that’s all.” 

“Wanna talk about it?”

Nick chuckled through his nose, his tongue coated his lips nervously. 

“Nah, but thanks.”

He rolled the chair back behind his desk, re-adjusted the jacket that hung over the back of it before he sat back down. He tried to go back to his work, but Cassie remained standing in the doorway, swinging the door idly as she twisted the knob.

“I almost lost them, Cassie,” he spoke softly, almost even a whisper. “I almost lost them--and hell, they almost lost me, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you...how that-that would have felt on…”

“I know.”

“I figured…I see them all the time. More than some of the other guys ‘round here and just because I was nearly robbed of my family for Christmas, doesn’t mean everyone else needed to be, either.” 

Cassie walked over to the desk, sat in the chair opposite and grabbed a stack of papers. 

“What’re you doin’?” 

“Helping you. So you can get outta here faster.”

“You-you can’t sign--”

“I know that, of course, but I can at least help you sort through what’s higher priority, and quite frankly, this desk has become a bit of a mess when you were gone.”

“Thanks, Cassie,” Nick smiled, and ducked his head to continue working on his papers.

“What else is family for?” 

Her face paled, eyes widened as she said it, almost looking past him. Nick’s heart stopped beating for a moment, before he set his pen down, reached for her hand, touched that she considered him to be family, which was always a...difficult subject to talk about with someone who had lost theirs. 

“Really, Cassie. _Thank you.”_

Color returned to both of their faces as they reaffirmed their bond, and a few moments later, Nick broke a comfortable silence as he continued to sing. 

Cassie joined in too.

* * *

The lab was quiet, which was not unexpected with the only remaining employees being Nick and Cassie, but it was still unsettling, as Madison had never been in the lab with nobody else around. She equated the feeling to roaming the halls of her school long after classes had finished for the day, or on a weekend. 

But it was also exciting, as she tiptoed next to Parker, a cloth bag slung over her shoulder, and they snuck past the DNA lab and to the break room, where everything was staged for a big surprise. 

Once they made it through the doors, Parker had texted Cassie, who had gone into Nick’s office to distract him. It was easier said than done given that his office was in the center of everything, glass walls surrounded him, though he had blocked a few of them with shelves and pictures. She did the job well, though she was almost given away when she caught Greg setting up another surprise in the DNA lab, but once everyone was in their position, and all the food was uncovered, Parker sent the final text that set off a string of events that led to the happiest moment of Nick’s life.

“Hey, c’mon, why don’t we get some coffee, if we’re gonna be here a little while longer?” 

“Nah, I’m good, Cass.”

“Really, Nick, I think you should get some coffee. Plus, I can’t seem to reach the top shelf…”

There was a beat, and then the sounds of a rolling chair, before Nick and Cassie emerged from Nick’s office. 

Madison couldn’t contain her excitement, an excited giggle escaped her lips, which made Nick stop in his tracks, at the other end of the hallway. 

“You hear something?” 

“Must just be one of the machines chirping. I-I had a test running…”

They continued walking down the hall, though Nick was suppressing a smile, his tongue excitedly dancing between his lips.

Although, they hadn’t even made it halfway through before Madison sprung out of her hiding spot, and ran into the hallway, and everyone else in their family followed suit--not their familial family, though a few of them would be flying in the next week to celebrate a second Christmas, but Grissom, Catherine, Sara, Greg, DB, Finn, Sofia, Brass, Eli, Doc, Super Dave, the lab rats, even Raymond Langston had shown up, and now greeted Nick with a loud chorus of “Merry Christmas!”

Parker had run right after Madison, and Nick enveloped both kids into a tight hug, tears prickled at his eyes, his glasses fogged up.

“Well, now, would you look at that! Two of Santa’s reindeer got loose!” Nick cried out before falling into laughing cry of joy. He scooped up a giggling, crying Madison in one of his arms, the other gently wrapped around Parker’s back as they walked towards the break room, and his nostrils were tickled by the smell of fresh food--some of which was his own cooking, but most of which was not, a collective pot luck of the CSI family. “Y’all...I’ve...I’ve never been so happy in my life!”

It was almost a little overwhelming, all of the hugging, crying, laughing, cheerful chatter among the family that realized just how big they were, all crammed into the tiny break room of the Crime Lab. But the over-stimulation didn’t seem to both Nick in the slightest, fully distracted from any negative feelings as he instead felt the love pouring from every heart in the room, including his own.

“This is,” Nick whispered into Madison’s ear as he bounced her--gently, as he was still recovering--on his leg. 

“What?”

“This is all I want for Christmas.”


	2. Christmas Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parker returns home from college for the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only Christmas Eve, I'm gonna try to get the final installment done before tomorrow, but in case I don't, happy holidays to all of you!!!
> 
> (also updated the tags for some implied Nick/Greg in this chapter!)

_ “And although I know it's a long road back, I promise you…” _

Nick hisses, pulling a grimace as he burns himself on the pan on top of the stove that’s preparing an early morning breakfast for his arriving son. He waves his hand to shake off the small burn, but otherwise his good mood remains in tact, though it falters with the anxious shock to his system that comes moments later.

“Dad.”

Madison slams her hands on the kitchen counter, Nick jumps while holding the pan that was cooking a slab of bacon, it nearly falls out of the pan before he quickly recovers with a muttered, “ _ damn!”  _ as he squirms to avoid the pop of grease. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” he asks in a strained voice, wiping his hands on a dish towel that was thrown over his shoulder. 

“Parker should be here by now.” 

Nick looks up at Madison, her hair is frizzled, dark bags under her eyes. She hasn’t slept all night, but not out of her normal excitement over the holiday, rather, out of worry, which is even worse. 

“I’m sure he’s fine, probably just ran into some car trouble, or traffic.”

“I tried calling him and he didn’t pick up.” 

“Maybe his phone is out of battery.” 

“He wouldn’t let that happen. He would at least pull over and call from a payphone or something.” 

“Do those even still exist? How do you know about them?”

“I watch a lot of old TV. There’s a British sci-fi show where this guy named the doctor and his companions fly around in one--and he falls in love with one of his companions and that-that’s not the point--” Madison waves off. “The point  _ is,  _ I’m declaring Parker as missing and we need to go find him.” 

“Sweetie, it’s a long drive from Portland to San Diego.”

“I know! He could be anywhere,  _ alone--”  _

“He’ll make it,” Nick interrupts as he makes his way around the counter to put his hands on Madison’s shoulders, rooting her to the spot. 

“Something just...doesn’t feel right. He wouldn’t just...not tell me what’s going on, e-even when he’s m-mad,” Madison sputters, which drives something into Nick’s heart, prying it apart. “We got into a fight, right before he left for college…”

“Oh, Maddy,” Nick sighs, bringing his daughter in close for a tight hug. “I’m sure he’s forgotten about it by now, and whatever you fought about definitely wouldn’t keep him from home.”

“It was about you,” Madison sniffles into Nick’s chest. Nick breaks off the hug, to stare at the guilt in his daughter’s face. Madison’s eyes were shifting, avoiding Nick’s gaze.

“Me? What about me?” 

“About what to get you for Christmas…”

“First of all, I keep tellin’ y’all, I don’t need anything--”

“You say that every year…”

“And second of all, Madison, I love you but you are a  _ terrible  _ liar.”

“Nothing gets by you, does it?” Madison laughs through her tears.

“It  _ is  _ my job, you know,” Nick tells her with a cheeky smile. He brings her into the living room with an arm wrapped around her, they sit on the couch. “So, tell me, what happened?”

“It’s stupid, really…Really, really stupid. Parker can be so  _ stupid  _ sometimes!” Madison starts to cry. Nick brushes the hair out of her face, cups a hand to her cheek. 

“Did he say something to hurt you?” 

“He...he said he thought you didn’t love him anymore.” 

* * *

Growing up in California, Parker didn’t have that much experience with snow. He had only ever seen it up in the mountains, and certainly never had to drive in it. 

Part of him knew that he should have flown, but all the flights were already booked up, and there was the threat of a snowstorm approaching that would have delayed his flight, anyway. 

A snowstorm that he  _ thought  _ he had already accounted for, thought he could beat, and yet found himself trapped in, anyway.

He had pulled off to the side of the road, broke off a branch from a nearby tree to attach a bright piece of clothing to stick as a marker, and retreated inside the car to wait for the storm to pass over.

He’s thankful he brought home some of his laundry to do--while the smell wasn’t exactly desirable, piling the clothing around him created a bundle of warmth during his time of fuel conservation. He decided that he would turn his car on for ten minutes every hour, and knew that the residual warmth from the heater would dissolve into the cold air. His fingers already felt like icicles as he types a message on his phone through his fingerless gloves to his family.

_ Hey, might be a little late, ran into some bad weather. I’m really STOKED to see you and Mads! Lol xo _

No, that last part seems a bit too...much. He deletes it, ends with a simple “ _ see you soon.” _

But the message never sends, no cell reception on the stretch of road attached to the side of the cliff he found himself stranded on, no discernible shelter or radio tower in sight. 

“Great,” he mutters, can already hear Madison yelling at him when he crosses the threshold, can already see his dad’s folded arms, tight lips flat in disappointment. 

Why was he even bothering going home? His father certainly didn’t seem to care when he left for college, fawning over Madison the whole time they had unpacked Parker’s things at his dorm, reminiscing over his frat days--to which, in an effort to join the conversation, Parker said, “Dad, I’m not gonna be a frat boy.” “Oh, we all know that, Parker.” 

What did that even mean? Did he think Parker isn’t man enough to be one of those stupid idiots, that he’s somehow less for not wanting to engage in drunken, dumb fun? He was going to college to learn, not to party. 

Nick wasn’t even the one to talk about him coming home for Christmas, it was Madison, in a rare private moment between the two siblings.

_ “Parker, you’re coming home for Christmas, right? What are we going to get Dad?”  _

_ “Does Dad even want me to come back? Seemed pretty eager to kick me outta the nest.” _

_ “Don’t say that! Of course he wants you to come home.”  _

_ “Won’t really matter, so long as his precious little girl is there.” _

_ “I’m not ‘a little girl’ anymore!” _

_ “Oh yeah, that’s right, you’re teenager now, I forgot, whoop-de-doo. Hope you know, though, far as Dad’s concerned? You’ll never grow up. Me, on the other hand, ‘s like he wanted me to grow up ever since I was fifteen…” _

_ “Park, that--that’s not true.” _

_ “No, it is! Ever since that damn night in the forest, it’s like he expects me to just be able to handle everything on my own--” _

_ “If you think you’re not ready for this--” _

_ “I am, Madison! I am ready for this. I’m ready to be on my own. Have been for a while now. I just...thought he would have put...up a bit more of a fight, I guess?”  _

_ “Well, tell you what, I will record every time he says that he misses you and make you a scrapbook.” _

_ “Yeah, whatever. Might as well buy me a blank book.” _

Madison had stormed out shortly after, and it was the last he’d seen or heard from his sister since. 

He shakes himself out of the clothes pile and cringe-filled memories and checks the clock on his phone, hour two of his delay. He turns his car on, wipes away the snow that had accumulated on his windshield, to reveal a pair of headlights flashing and swerving in the distance.

He exits his car and squints his eyes, wishing he had the pair of binoculars his father had given him a few years ago for bird watching with him, but he left them at his dorm.

He realizes quickly that in all reality, he doesn’t need them, the car is heading towards him at an alarming fast pace, with un-moving tires and the wipers rapidly wiping away, the vehicle obviously out of the control of the driver.

Parker throws his arms up in the air, his voice cracks from disuse into a pleading shout, “STOP!” though he has a feeling that even if they wanted to, the driver couldn’t, and the car swerves past him, he begins to follow it in a light run, dangerously close to the edge of the cliff side--

But thankfully, the car doesn’t completely fall over the edge, making one final spin--though his heart stops as the car slows to a stop with one wheel over the edge of the cliff.

Parker runs over as the driver’s side of the car opens, a woman stumbles out, nearly falling into the snow. 

“Hey, you alright?” He shouts over the raging wind.

“Ju-just a bit shaken, I-I guess,” the woman moans. “My-my baby--”

Parker looks into the car, zooms in on the child in the backseat. The little baby is giggling in the back, kicking its feet in the air and reaches for Parker as he swoops in, quickly unbuckling him from the seat. 

“N-no c-cell service…” the woman mutters, one hand gripping her wild hair. 

“My car’s just down the road, might be safer there,” he suggests, handing the woman her child. 

“Oh, yes! Yes, yes, thank you--I don’t know what I can do to repay--”

“Ah, it’s Christmas, don’t worry ‘bout it. My name’s Parker,”

“Vanessa. And this here is little Nick.”

“Nick, huh? My dad’s name is Nick. Was on my way to see him, when I got caught in this darn storm.”

“Ugh, tell me about it. Was on my way to see my parents, too, first year in...well, too many years. Bury the hatchet, you know? They’re probably not going to be surprised, probably don’t even want me there...”

“Hey, now, I’m sure that’s not true! They’re probably gonna be super worried about you and little Nicky here.” 

“I’m sure your father’s worried, too.” 

They exchange sad smiles and sad stories as they reach Parker’s car and wait out the rest of the storm, bonding over the emerging light of the rising sun through the storm clouds that clear up in relatively no time at all, and after a tow truck comes to retrieve Vanessa’s car, Parker resumes his trip with a hopeful, forgiving heart. He fixates on Vanessa’s words to him, finding solace and empathy in her devotion to her family, even with all of their faults. 

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Nick, or the rest of my family, for that matter.” 

* * *

“That’s so...so…”

“Stupid?” Madison inquires as she watches her father react to her retelling of the events.

Nick shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He should have known better, Christmas was always hard on Parker, ever since his mother...

“No, your brother’s not  _ stupid,  _ Maddy. Maybe I am, though. How could he think...What have I done?”

“You’ve done a great job in raising us, Daddy, it’s not-not you--” Madison protests. 

“No, it-it is me, Madison, I could have done more--what are you talking about, I ain’t done raising you yet!” 

Madison smiles into a distracting giggle. 

“Now you’re trying to distract me.” 

“You’re just so funny when you’re flustered,” Madison leans on her father’s chest, cuddling up beside him as he turns on the news. 

“If I’d’ve known... I always thought...I always thought he didn’t wanna be here, you know? When I was his age...I left the first chance I got.”

“You know what’s funny, Dad? All this time, all these years, everyone keeps telling me n’ Parker how much we are like you...but really...you’re more like  _ us.” _

“Nah, I’m not as kind as you, Maddy. Or as smart as Parker.”

“You’re plenty smart and kind, though!” 

“Not enough, if I wasn’t able to see this. I gotta fix it, somehow. Make it up to him. How do I make this up to him?” 

“As soon as you find out, let me know, cause I’m in the shitter with you, too.”

Nick bursts out laughing and gestures to the swear jar. 

“You know what I mean!” Madison fumes. “You know, maybe he’s not coming after all.”

“Maybe…” Nick has to agree with a deep breath.

“Maybe he’s giving us both the cold shoulder. Could have Uncle Greg try calling him--when’s he coming over, anyway?” 

“Maddy,” Nick begins, but Madison is distracted, keeps ranting as she makes some ruckus in the kitchen, though Nick holds out his hand over the back of the couch, reaching towards her.

“Oh, is Uncle Greg a sore subject now, too?”

“No, not at all, it’s just that--”

“Don’t tell me he’s not coming over. You two and your stupid on and off thing, we all know you love--”

“Madison! It’s Parker!” 

“Parker?” Madison gasps, running out of the kitchen and to the door, but Nick catches the back of her shirt, pulls her back to the couch and points to the television.

“A massive snowstorm threatens the pacific northwest, flight delays and cancellations…”

The camera pans over a vast, snowy mountainous range, two cars and two dots waving up from the ground. 

“Parker!” Madison shouts, kneels in front of the television as the report keeps talking about the storm, before it cuts to close-up shots of a car on the cliff’s edge--Nick’s heart froze until he recognized Parker’s car in another shot, half buried in snow, and then his heart started beating again when the camera switched to an interview shot of Parker speaking into a microphone.

“I saw her car spin out, almost falling off of the cliff, once it came to a stop, I brought her over to my car, we waited until the storm settled. 

“My hero,” the woman smiles, leaning on Parker’s shoulder and cradling a baby in her arms. 

“Nah, I’m not a hero, just a guy. Trying to do what’s right,” Parker’s cheeks are burning, and Nick’s eyes are watering with pride. “It’s what my Dad would do.” 

* * *

“Hey, kid, you still coming?” Uncle Greg asks through the speaker of his car.

“Yeah, I’m like two minutes away. Had a bit of an...eventful drive, to say the least. I-I meant to call, just...got distracted. Even tried texting, guess it never went through.”

“Good. They think you’re mad at them, got them worried sick when you wouldn’t return their calls.”

“Mad? Why would I be mad? I’d still come, even if I was mad.”

“That’s what I told them, but you know them. Drama queens.” 

“Yeah. Oh, I see your car!”

“Alright, see you soon, buddy.” 

Madison was already standing outside, still dressed in her pajamas, her hands cupped together against her chest before she bursts into an eager wave. Parker chuckles as he notices her reddened face, tears streaking down the light layer of make-up. He barely has a chance to unbuckle his seatbelt before Madison flings open the door and pulls him out into a tight hug.

“Don’t scare me like that  _ ever again!”  _ she sobs into his shoulder. “We were  _ so worried!”  _

“I think you mean,  _ you,  _ Madison. You were so worried, I knew Parker would be fine the whole time,” Nick’s voice cuts through as he puts his hands on Madison’s shoulders in a gentle massage. 

“No, you didn’t, you were just pretending to be fine!” Madison protests, which makes Parker shake with laughter. 

“Ah, alright, you caught me,” Nick admits, ruffling his daughter’s hair as she breaks off to go tell Uncle Greg the not-so-surprsing to him news that Parker was finally home. Nick doesn’t even try to hide the tears in his eyes as he pulls the freed Parker into an even tighter embrace, cupping the back of his head in the palm of his hand.

“I am  _ so proud of you,”  _ he whispers to his son. “Don’t you  _ ever  _ forget that. Don’t  _ ever  _ think I don’t love you, because that...that’s what I would do.” 

“I love you too, Dad,” Parker breathes heavily, returning his father’s embrace. “I was just being…”

“Stupid?”

“Madison tell you that?”

Nick laughs, breaking away from his son and cupping his cheek. 

“You’re the smartest man I’ve ever met. Next to your Uncle Greg, that is.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“When am I gonna finally stop having to call him ‘uncle?’ And call him ‘Dad’ instead?” 

They both look into the house through the open door, where Greg is leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, watching Madison bounce around the house like an excited pinball, a cup of coffee in his hand...under a mistletoe that Nick will forever claim was  _ not  _ there before.

“Don’t know. Might be sooner than you think, actually. C’mon, let’s get inside. And you can tell me all about Vanessa, and the baby she apparently named after me.”

Parker’s turn to laugh as he wipes his eyes. 

“You know that’s not true, Dad! And how’d you know about Vanessa?” 

“Santa knows everything.”

“Dad…” Parker moans.

“It was on the news.”

“Ah, really?” Parker scrunches his face. “Even out here?”

“Yeah, well, welcome to the club, buddy. Merry Christmas,” Nick plants a kiss on top of his son’s head as they cross the threshold, before walking to Greg with a seductive swoop and Parker stands at the threshold for a few moments, before he whips out and captures the moment in time--but it isn’t just a “moment,” it’s a feeling.

The feeling that he is finally  _ home. _


	3. Christmas Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick has to ease the mind of both his son and grandson as they eagerly await Madison's arrival.

_ “ _ _ Christmas Eve will find you, where the love light gleams…I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…” _

Nick will still be cooking for Christmas, even in his older age--though he’ll argue that mind over matter, he’s only “fragile” if people label him as such.

Though he won’t deny that he is having some difficulty standing up straight, an unpreventable hunch will arch his back, his head still swims through a sea of memories, grasping on to some but others just...slip through his fingers. Words get harder to form, so he’ll let his actions speak where his mouth cannot. 

Such as cooking, the ultimate physical and mental therapy, to keep his mind occupied--the one constant in his constantly changing life. 

And another constant that he just now realizes near the end of the line-- _ it’s not the end of the line for you, Pancho, not yet,  _ a voice will keep telling him in his head--is that he is  _ always  _ interrupted during his cooking by his daughter, Madison--

_ “Papa Pancho!”  _ a gasp, followed by the sound of two palms slamming on the counter where he was slowly chopping vegetables.

\--Or her offspring.

“Yes, CC?” Nick will ask, and he won’t look up, he never does, but he will still be able to sense the youth’s anxious energy.

“When’s Momma comin?”

“She’ll be home soon, don’t you worry.”

“That’s what you said last year, and I didn’t even get to see her before bedtime,” CC will whine, spreading his body out in an exaggerated fashion on the bar stool

“Well, your mother’s a very busy woman, buddy.”

“Too busy for her family?” 

“That’s, that’s not what I meant,” Nick will wave his hand, grimacing at what he’ll realize is a poor choice of words.

“Is...is it ‘cause I was a bad boy this year? I didn’t mean to break Holly’s dolls, I was just playin’ scientist!” 

“Corey Coleman Stokes,” Nick will begin, setting down his knife to tend to his spiraling grandson. “I’ve been keeping my eye on you  _ all  _ year, and I’ll vouch for you, you were on your very best behavior...for...most of the year, and Santa will  _ definitely  _ bring you whatever that little spunky heart of yours desires this year.”

“What I want most is for Momma to come home...” CC will pout, despite his giggling as Nick playfully pokes his chest to tickle him. 

“Tell you what, first word I get of your Mom, you’ll be the first to know, okay? I promise. Now, why don’t you go help Uncle Parker put up the finishing touches on the tree in there? He seems a little lost.” 

“He always has his head in the clouds, Momma says.”

“Talking like Yoda, you are.” 

“Strong in the Force, I am!” CC will then tumble out of the room making lightsaber noises that bring a smile to Nick’s face, before he sends an inquisitive text to his daughter. 

* * *

“She’s late.”

Parker will pace the room after his and Madison’s kids are put to bed. His hand will be on his hip, his tongue will be waving over his lips nervously.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Nick will tell his son with a heavy sigh. 

“You said that last year,” Parker will echo his nephew’s sentiment, before continuing, “And y-you remember what happened last year!” 

Nick won’t quite remember, but he’ll get the hint that it’s not necessarily good. 

“She’s too much like you for her own damn good,” Parker will mutter under his breath.

“Park, now, c’mon--” Nick will make a move to put a supportive hand on his son’s shoulder, but Parker will squirm out of it.

_ “I can take it,  _ all the shit that seems to follow you around like a black cloud. But Madison...she just pretends she can--”

“You’re not giving her enough credit, Parker, she  _ chose  _ to become a cop--”

“But she didn’t choose  _ you  _ to be her father! Or me to be her brother!” 

“What are you saying?”

“She doesn’t deserve us. Doesn’t deserve this. She should be spending Christmas eve and day with her children, not out there chasing criminals. She only does it cause she wanted to be like you--”

“I wasn’t a cop--”

“Not according to Aunt Sara, she makes it seem like you were, with all the running and gunning you did in your prime!” 

“That---was only when necessary--”

“And Grandpa Cisco told me you were a cop before you became a CSI--”

“Well, hey, Maddy wasn’t the only one who took after me, young man.”

“I didn’t take after you,” Parker will shake his head. “I took after Dad.”

Nick will chuckle coldly, knowing that Parker’s use of “Dad” in this instance was not in reference to him, but to Greg Sanders, who was reading a bedtime story to Parker’s youngest adopted daughter.

“Yeah, that you did. And I’m still proud of you. Just like I’m proud of Madison, and she’ll come home  _ safe  _ this year.” 

Memories will start to poke and prod at Nick, of a bruised and bloodied Madison Stokes entering the threshold and collapsing on the couch, not even pretending to be Santa that year, she’ll pass out after her father cleans her wounds. 

But she’ll still have a smile on her face, tell the story--in great, riveting detail to her father of her heroism, that the pain was worth it all, should wouldn’t trade anything she did because she was hailed as a hero for her take down of a dangerous crime group...which included the rolling of a vehicle that caused her minor injuries.

_ “I rolled that bad boy, Daddy!”  _

“I promise,” Nick will affirm to his son with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Promise wha’?” a sleepy voice will break through the room. CC will shuffle into the room, tug at Nick’s shirt. Nick will pick him up, let him rest on his shoulder, but they’ll have to move the couch, because Nick can’t stand while holding a small child for too long before his knees buckle.

“That your mom is coming home. Same promise I gave to you.”

“It’s bedtime, you know, Papa Pancho.” 

“I know that, but apparently you don’t.”

“Your promise ain’t looking that good.” 

“Didn’t your Momma ever tell you? I  _ always  _ fulfill my promises.”

Parker will scoff with folded arms as he stares out the window.

“But cause your ol’ Papa here is feelin’ generous this year, I’ll let you stay up instead of making you go back to bed.”

“Do you think we’ll catch Santa?” CC will ask eagerly as Nick yawns, but he won’t catch the contagion, since he’ll stare at the lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

“Maybe, buddy, maybe. Park? What do you think? Think we can catch Santa?”

“Mm. Sure.”

Nick will whisper into CC’s ear, which makes the boy grin from ear to ear.

“Uncle Parker, I heard you caught Santa red-handed one year!” 

“Who told you that?” 

Nick will shake his head with a finger to his mouth, but CC spills the beans anyway.

“Papa Pancho. Says you were quite the detective when you were little like me!” 

“Not as good as your mother, though.”

CC will slink back into Nick’s arms, who will sigh in exasperation at his two angsting boys.

“C’mon, boys! Where’s the Christmas spirit?”

“With Momma!” CC will whine, but unbeknownst to him, Nick will notice a small puff of ash fall down the chimney.

“Hey, Parker, where do you think Santa is this time of night?” Nick will ask with a forming smile on his face.

“For fu--I don’t know, Dad. Maybe in Africa!” 

“Sure he ain’t in San Diego right about now?” 

Nick will waggle his eyebrows at both his son and grandson, gesturing to the chimney, as more commotion emanates from the source, and a forcibly deep “ho ho ho!” can be heard echoing down the shaft.

“How--where--?” Parker will sputter as Madison, upside down, beams at her expecting family.

“Santa gave me a lift,” Madison will grunt as she finishes her trek down the chimney, will crawl out and brush herself off until CC jumps off the couch and into her arms.

“Momma!” CC will exclaim as Madison spins him around the living room.

“Oh, sweetie, Momma missed you! But, you wanna know something, Santa told me he wouldn’t come back until all the children were a-sleepin’...”

“Okay…” CC will say glumly. “Can you tuck me in?” 

“I’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” Madison will bop her son on the nose before he scurries up the stairs. Parker will then, quickly embrace his sister before muttering something about making hot chocolate. 

Nick will remain sitting with a knowing smile as Madison smiles back at him. She’ll take a moment to plop down on the couch, plant a kiss on the cheek of her father.

“Toldja I’d be home for Christmas,” she’ll whisper, before she runs up the stairs to tend to her child.

Nick will sit and wait for his children’s return, Parker will bring back three mugs filled with hot cocoa while Madison will bring the exciting action of her job’s events, and Nick will bring them all together with his two arms and fatherly presence. Another perfect Christmas spent with the Stokes family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, everyone! Writing these characters together has been a highlight of my year, by far, and it would not have been so extensive without all of you 💜💜💜💜


End file.
